


Jealousy

by Fanficfandom



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Band of Thorns, Depressed Russia, Everyone Is Gay, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Russia has Issues (Hetalia), Super crappy work, minor Russia/General Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-06
Updated: 2019-01-06
Packaged: 2019-10-05 16:25:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 4,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17328452
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fanficfandom/pseuds/Fanficfandom
Summary: Russia, just a small little country finds love. Soon, he grows up... And fights for his love.





	1. Baby Russia

The wind blew harshly against the deep blue sky. Flurries of snow swirled down frolicking against the air making its slow descent towards the ground where snow has been piling up.

The chilly air was silent as a boy began to appear in the winter wonderland. His pale blonde hair looked bleached in the sunlight. Violet eyes gleamed towards the empty sky.

The boy began to shiver at the cold air, his breathe caused puffs of what seemed to be fog. The child giggled at first looking to find someone to claim him, but that time hadn't come.

The boy crouched down into the snow pulling is tiny legs to his chest and began to cry silently. It wasn't long before he felt sleepiness consume him into unconsciousness.

"Over here!" A deep male voice boomed. He seemed to have taken charge of the people who had followed him into the new territory. The man's dark blue eyes fell on the boy.

Arms wrapped around the boy causing him to awaken. His violet eyes fluttered open slowly as he looked at the stranger that held him. Instead of being afraid however,  tightened his grip on the man shivering and attempting to gain warmth from the other.

He turned his head annoyed and looked to a strong independent looking woman with deep eyes. He trudged to her finally unlatching the confused and cold boy.

"Ukraine Please, take him and care for him until we get to safety and can start his civilization. He is your new brother" He commanded the woman. She nodded and grabbed the baby cradling him in her arms.

No one knew yet that this young boy would grow to be one of the largest and feared nations. This boy would learn the name

                            ~ **_Russia~_ **

 

The boy sat on his boss's comfy chair smiling widely unbeknownst of his creepy aura. The boss soon strut in snickering. "I think your old enough to learn how everything works." He said grabbing a stack of papers from the desk and handing it to the no longer smiling boy.

"How does it work? You teach me, da?" The boy questioned. The boss nodded and went to explain just how it worked...

"...it must be perfect or I will have you do it again understand!?" His boss growled finishing the explanation.

"Da" the boy whimpered racing away with the heavy stack of papers he had to finish by tomorrow.

One day on its warmest afternoon, the boy was released from his boss and his daily tasks. He decided to explore the land in curiosity. He soon broke into a sprint excitedly.

The flurries of snow were absent causing the young country grief of wishing to once again feel what the little flakes of snow had felt.

As he continued running he felt his side hurt and he had lost breathe. He slowed and realized he was a far enough way from home. The weather was much warmer to say the least and his coat was causing him to get warm.

The boy looked around spotting a taller male slowly walking towards the boy in confusion. "Hello, are you lost aru?"

The boys violet eyes met the elder mans amber ones. He gulped and began to slowly step back shaking his head spilling out repetitive "I'm sorry...I'm sorry" towards the other.

The older man felt pity for the scared boy and shook his head shushing the boy before slowly approaching him. He took the boy in his arms calming the other. "Are you a nation?" The young pale haired boy asked.

"Yes, so I am guessing you are as well? I am China but you may call me Yao" the elder nation smiled softly.

At this the Russian smiled back surprising China from the creepy feeling his aura gave off but did nothing. "Russia da. But for you Yao Yao...Ivan." He smiled widely.

The time however cut short when Russia heard his boss. His eyes widened. "I must go da? See you another day?"

China smiled and nodded in agreement. He liked this little nation named Russia.


	2. Be Mine

"What did I tell you about leaving the land?" Russia's boss had growled that night.

"You ignorant fool!" The man growled towards the shaking baby nation sliding off his belt.

The small nation attempted to stagger away but was grabbed by his boss. The belt whipped against his skin as young Russia felt pain blast through his body worse then before. Of course it was always worse since it only added to the pain he exhibited before.

The man continued to lash at the country who began to sob silently. "What, you a little pussy?" The man taunted. "Oh come on big baby! You gonna cry?"

Russia shook in fear and had back against the wall. He tried to stop the tears but they just kept flowing down his cheeks. The man soon tossed the bloody leather belt to the side smirking.

He then grabbed the boy and dragged him to the bed where the mans already slipping pants were pulled off. Russia knew now what would happen as he could only beg for his boss to stop. (Well let your minds explain that one...)

Russia however would not stop searching for his gorgeous Yao Yao.

The air flew harshly though most countries were in the middle of summer, he still had to deal with harsh winters. Russia hated to always feel cold. He could still remember the warmth from his Yao Yao.

Russia took the time to roam freely racing away and spinning in circles. He giggled and looked off in the distance. As he roamed he could begin to feel sunlight and warmth.

There in the distant sat a long yellow stem leading to a round head with yellow petals. He liked the warmth it provided as he grabbed one puling it from it's roots smiling widely.

"Yao is like sunflower da? Warm..." Ivan held the flower close before skipping back home.

Days passed. Ivan held onto the flower doing all he could to keep it alive, sadly the bright warm yellow flower which he had found called a sunflower had turned black, begun to wilt and a  long way from being warm.

He cried for the loss of his flower which his boss threw out the day after it began to wilt. The boss ranted on about never to bring filthy plants into the house again.

Russia liked the sunflower though. It became his favorite flower, and second favorite possession besides his Yao. Sadly, he had to learn the hard way...Yao was not his possession.

Russia knew exactly how to find his Yao. That was exactly what he was going to do.

Russia strut the way he knew to go. His eyes soon landed on long brown hair that fell past his Yao Yao's shoulders. He smiles brightly careful not to ruin the precious sunflower he held behind his back hiding it from the other nation.

Yao turned and snorted not wanting to see the small baby nation. He turned and looked into the violet eyes of the nation.

"What now aru. Don't you see I do not have time for little baby nations!?" He growled lightly. Russia took no notice and handed Yao the flower. China surprised by the action turned to the nation.

"What is this for aru?" He asked quietly. Russia only smiled before answering.

"For my Yao Yao da?"

"Aya! I am not your toy aru!" China growled turning away.

"Yao upset, da? Does Yao Yao not like me? Do I need to grow bigger and stronger for Yao to like me?"

"Do what you want. You are still just a baby nation who will always just get in the way!" China growled dropping Ivan's precious flower and bolted away annoyed at the pitiful nation.

Russia grabbed the flower and began to cry. He must become stronger. He must become larger. He would do anything to make Yao's his.

He looked at the new young female country which slightly scared him but he began to love at first sight. His two sisters were all he held dear.

He felt something soft wrap carefully around his neck as he sat in his favorite chair reading. Surprised he looked up to his smiling happy sisters before realizing he now wore a beautiful scarf. He smiled.

"It's Beautiful da?" He cheered hugging his precious sisters. Sadly Russia's boss used the scarf to his advantage choking Russia with it.

After many years of torment, Russia found his own way of dealing with the daily pain, which was to emit more onto himself...

He liked the pain however that his new toy gave him. The toy wrapped around his neck fitting perfectly under the scarf hidden away from all eyes. He looked to the contraption which consisted of a band of wires that wrapped around his neck.

The thorny part dug into his skin causing many scars and blood but Russia liked the feeling of it. Just one flaw...

No one could know...this was his secret alone.

This was something only he could know...


	3. A Moment of Memories

Russia had grown larger since the last time he had seen his precious sunflower. He decided he was to go visit his crush again and win his heart. He had to.

Sadly his boss had found the boy and just for the fun of grasped the boy swinging his fist at the boy as he smirked. Once the boss was pleased at the swollen eye he let his hand slide against the Nations cheek leaving a mark before strutting away pleased.

Russia would not however give into his boss and kept in his tears before sneaking to the door and slipped outside without being noticed. He slowly made his way to China's border along his own, forcing a smile upon his face.

Russia had stepped over the border feeling the sunlight against his face as he turned to the approaching country. China scoffed at the pathetic nation rolling his eyes but noticed the smile.

China sighed. "Ayah what do you want aru?" He questioned.

"To see you" was all the Russian had said making his smile bigger.

China noticed Russia's smile finally able to fully take in the nation's features now that he wasn't staring at the ground.

China took in his large violet eyes which looked as if sunset had met the night sky. It awed the Asian Nation but shrugged it off looking at the country's large pointed nose and chubby cheeks. It wasn't long before he noticed Ivan's pale skin against his even paler bleached looking hair.

Smacking himself inwardly at his oblivious eyes he stared at the red mark beginning to disappear upon the nations face correctly assuming it was fresh. He then turned to the nations eyes once more noticing the blue, purple and black surrounding his eye but it was no longer swelling which was a positive.

He then traveled to the nations clothes taking in his flowing scarf which he was positive had to be new sine he never noticed it before. He saw the large tan coat and green army pants when the coat was blown to the side by the wind. The combat boots added well to the outfit.

"Aiyah! You will get too warm in that" China began to rant pulled out by the silence taking over before the Russian spoke up.

"Nyet... I am cold. So very cold..." He muttered distantly. China confused looked back to the boy. "Your my sunflower, da. You keep me warm..." Ivan commented holding out his hand to his crush.

Acting without thinking the Asian smacked away the youngest boys hand. "Aiyah! I am not your sunflower, or object aru!" He growled turning away.

Honestly, Yao felt awful but something about the nation upset him...irked him even. No...scared him. China made his way back home leaving the youngest behind.

Russia clenched his fists, a tear escaping his eye as it rolled down his cheek. Ivan then closed his eyes not allowing another tear to escape. Instead he felt... Rage.

Russia made his way home quickly approaching his boss gaining a smirk from the eldest. "So came back so soon?" The boss smirked grabbing the belt which lay to the side of him. The leather belt was stained with the nations blood.

Russia kept calm, though his aura slowly darkened. The boss however took no notice as he lashed the belt towards the nation waiting for the sickening thud his ear so dreadfully craved. Shocked, the sound never came.

Instead, the nation grappled the belt forcefully pulling it from his boss's hand pulling his puny human body to the ground. Allowing his aura to darken his boss suddenly became scared and begged to be let go.

Russia's eyes glowed as if, fire had been out in his eyes. Russia yanked back the belt before pulling it down heavily onto his boss many times over until his boss lay drenched in blood, sweat and tears.

His boss's eyes began to lose color and his life drained from them. The screams that filled theThe winter storm had been dreadful that evening. Russia shook at the coldness both that it was any worse then what he always felt on the inside. Of course it hadn't been this bad since he was practically a new born...that one deal changed everything. Perhaps it was the reason Russia had not understood his cruelty...   


~~~FlashBack~~~

  
__ Baby Russia had his second encounter with Yao only to be turned down and had his hand slapped. He hated feeling useless at that moment.   
  
On his trek home, he began to feel much colder. He shook and felt as though he would obtain frostbite due to the horrible weather.   
  
When Baby Russia noticed his surroundings he realized he had somehow wandered into a snowy forest. 'I thought my country didn't have forests...hmm there is always something new to learn!' Russia thought with glee.   
  
Russia then turned his head towards a log or tree trunk upon the ground, a figure sat on it patting the seat beside him. "Come here, little nation ~" he cooed. Something told Russia he wasn't safe but he went against his stomach and sat down.   
  
"So, I see someone is in love" He smirked. Russia only blushed at the gesture. "Well then let me help you...I will make you a powerful nation with your little China kissing your feet!" He stated proudly.   
  
Russia raised his head in surprise. This had sounded very good to him but much to easy. "Well, then what must I give you? I don't have much..."   
  
The man chuckled. "You're smart kid..." He sighed his voice deep but satisfyingly calming! (Anyone know Gravity Falls? This reminds me of Bill and Dipper lol)   
  
"All I want is to have a little piece..." He snickered as Russia felt himself begin to hack and leaned over. Pain filled his chest as if something were attacking him from the inside. In reality I guess there was.   
  
His chest opened revealing his heart which plopped to the ground. Russia though wanting to scream felt his brain go numb. "A little piece of your heart. It will hurt a lot...and I technically live in you, but I will grant you your desires ~" Russia felt his body stand backing away slowly but stopped himself. His Yao, and a huge successful country, just for sharing his body?   
  
Finally Russia had decided. He stepped up to the man and nodded holding out a hand. The figure grabbed it in his own shaking it before chuckling.   
  
The pain felt excruciating against his chest as if his organs were being ripped from him. His entire right side felt as if it was on fire. His right side burned while the other practically froze. He screamed and cried in agony tearing off his coat and tossing it on the log he looked towards his burning side layering it with snow to numb it somehow. It didn't work of course as Ivan lay there panting as the pain ebbed away.   
  
Russia sat up in the snow cold and hungry. Was it a dream? The pain in his chest told him otherwise. He soon made his way home... Arriving before a huge snowstorm had wiped through his country.


	4. Friends At Last

Russia snapped out of the memory as the wind banged against the window. Russia then saw something like snow in his room as his eyes widened only to realize it was fog and the man he had met years back was in front of him. Russia heard the door lock and he sat back.   
  
"Well look how you have grown~" he purred. Russia nodded.   
  
"Yes though I don't see where you have helped..."   
  
"I helped give you the courage to get rid of your little...boss" He stated plainly.   
  
Russia only nodded lost in thought.   
  
"So...about China...I have some, information. You see...he likes someone already, but he is falling. Give him comfort next week, but don't force it."   
  
That snapped Russia to attention as he smiled. "Da!"   
  
"Oh and kid...be safe!" He added turning away. Russia reached out to him.   
  
"Wait... What is your name?" Russia prowled.   
  
"General, Winter..." And with that he was gone and the doors were unlocked. The storm had begun to calm. Russia began to be soothed by the cold.   
  
Something inside him told him no matter how much he loved His Yao, a part of him would love General Winter just the same....   
  
Finally Russia could actually control his own country and become what Yao wanted him to be. A large powerful nation feared by everyone, all except his China...

He looked out the window happily. Finally something would go his way...

It had been a week. Russia's people had found new territory which he would explore once he returned home. First he decided to travel to China. The country haf grown at least half past 4 ft. Leaving Russia still upset about his size. However after his new territory was claimed he would grow.

He stood in front of Yao's house and smiled lightly. The house was indeed large though not as large as Ivan's lonesome mansion. He practically lived alone as his sisters stayed at their own place.

He shuffled shyly up to the door and knocked. 'Bang bang bang' Russia stood in the warm sun bathing against his frosted skin, yet it had no effect in warming him.

He soon knocked three times as his patience began to deteriorate. Soon enough he was about to turn around only to gear a 'squeak' causing Russia to jump and look to his Yao.

Yao had a small smile plastered on his lips though Ivan could see through China and saw through to his sadness. As General Winter had informed him, his dear Lover Rome had fallen. (Just a very small side ship!)

Russia stepped forward allowing his arms to slither around the elder country. Yao tensed attempting to pull away but soon melted into the hug and began to sob in the others arms.

"There, there da? Why don't we talk about it...it will make you feel better..."

"Alright, aru...come on in." China shooed him in before noticing the other nations heavy jacket and scarf. "Aiyah! You must be so hot aru! Here hand me your coat and scarf."

"Nyet...I am...fine" Russia decided his words carefully to give nothing away. Not about his neck nor his inner cold feeling.

They talked for hours and China even invited him to stay. Of course Russia had attempted to reach the latter's bed but was rejected many times...actually all of them.

Russia soon knew he had to return as he hugged China once more nodding and made his way back to his own country making a detour to search the new land first of course.

He scanned the wide area before seeing a puff of yellow. Curious, he wandered to it only to see a small child with blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Russia smiled.

"Hello... I am Russia. You are?"

"Estonia..." It squealed excitedly.

Russia nodded gripped the little child's hand and took him home to care for. After a month of living with Russia he was informed he must work.

Estonia wasn't the best at cleaning or cooking but he did well with a few bouts of punishment of course.

He soon gained his glasses and his profession for computers thus Russia making him map out his attacks and such as well as taxes from his intelligence.

Estonia didn't mind the work and befriended the nation whom had grown profusely.

Russia soon took over Lithuania and Latvia. Within 30 years he was past 6' and became alliances with China as well as close friends.


	5. My Love,

\--- **Present day Hetalia-----**

Russia sat in his normal seat quietly. His scarf lay above his mouth, his eyes closed. China trudged in after the other flinging his ponytail to the side. Russia peaked towards his crush and smiled beneath his scarf. He jerked his head on accident and stifled a whimper. He allowed his hand to travel to his neck touching something wet sticky and thick. He sniffed bringing the hand to his mouth uncovering his scarf from said mouth. China noticing the red color on Russia.

"Russia aru are you alright?" Russia stopped and turned to everyone who was staring. He gulped in fear unknowing of what to say. He just smiled and stood racing out of the room. China shook his head and chased after the latter. "Russia!"

Russia stopped at the bathroom licking the blood from his finger he cringed and rinsed the blood down the drain. He then grabbed at his scarf about to remove it only to be stopped by a charging Asian. Russia looked to his crush and tilted his head.

"Russia you were bleeding! let me see." Russia looked at the ground.

"Nyet..."

"excuse me?"

"nyet...I don't want you to see..."

"Russia, please! let me help you!"

Russia sighed and unwrapped his scarf. China stood shocked at what was shown to him. His mouth opened stammering incoherent words moving slowly up towards it. "Russia...why didn't you say something?"

Russia shrugged. and grabbed the kit unwrapping the bandages showing worse scars than the few China saw. There were multiple but something caught China's eye. A wire wrapped around his neck. Thorns pricked into it. A tear welled in China's eye from pity and shock.

"Russia...what...what is that?"

"A wire necklace..."

"why do you have it?'

"... Pain..."

"what?"

"it numbs the pain..."

China grabbed Russia and hugged him.

"I am so sorry for the awful things I have done...If only I had known!"

Russia stood there tense for a moment before falling into the embrace and wrapped his arms around China, though Russia was much larger China fit well in his arms.

They stood there a moment before fixing Russia up and wrapped back on his scarf. China dragged Russia back to the meeting room as they continued the arguing. China and Russia kept quiet smiling at each other.

Russia sat in his seat. Yao sat beside Kiku who looked at him fondly. Yao would always discuss things with Japan. Russia would even see them hugging and growl.

He believed they were together but that wasn't right. He was supposed to be with China. One day he decided to take action.

He bombed Japan in an act of war, which Japan angrily accepted by sending troops in to attack the Russian nation. China grew worried as every meeting involved Russia staying silent but Japan always had to speak up against the towering nation causing Russia to fight the opposing nation. China knew no one noticed except himself of the blood trailing from his neck.

The war Russo Japan war went on for three months before the final battle. Japan had Russia writhing underneath him grabbing his pipe only to swing at the raven haired nation causing him to fly backwards. China had enough. His love for Russia was true. All he wanted was advice for how to make Russia love him. Now however was not time for it. He had to save his friend and put Russia in his place.

China broke the Two up by tossing Russia off the smaller nation. "Stop!"

Russia and Japan both looked at the Chinese nation.

"No more fighting Aru! There is no need for this. Russia however had a perfectly good reason. At least to him anyway.

" Nyet. I am doing this for you. I don't want you to be with him! I Want you to be  _ m _ y sunflower "

China stood there shocked and ran to Russia kissing him spot on. "Well it looks like you won. So take home your prize and stop fighting...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, really sucky I know! This was written YEARS ago. Well anyway, criticism is always helpful!


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